For Worse or For Better
by girlNmaroon
Summary: You said you needed your space, I wasn't where you wanted to be. I didn't stand in your way, I only want you to be happy...Sort of a response to Florida.
1. Chapter 1

_Something I started writing a while back. This is sort of a post-ep for Florida, but written before it airs, if that makes any sense. It's supposed to follow the events of the episode, and details will follow in later chapters. _

_Thanks to Rose, again, for putting up with all my fanfic craziness! And thanks in adnace to all the readers!_

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_You said you needed your space  
I wasn't where you wanted to be  
I didn't stand in your way  
I only want you to be happy  
_Keith Urban, "I Told You So"

* * *

She feels his presence before she even hears the knocking on her door. _Shit._ She's standing in a pile of suitcases and folded clothes. _This is NOT going to go well._

She considers ignoring it, ignoring him, but she knows that's not really an option. She is drawn to him like a moth to a flame, and just his nearness seems to settle her inside. She's not sure what the hell she's doing, but he is her constant. She has to do it right this time, has to make him understand why she's leaving again. She just hopes this conversation won't break her heart.

Olivia sighs, moving to open the door.

"Hey," he breathes, and dammit if her knees don't go just a little bit weak. The icy blue of his eyes alone is enough to make her swoon.

"Hey, El."

He walks in, eyes scanning the apartment like the detective he is. Fortunately, she thought to close her bedroom door before she let him in. At least _that_ conversation can be put off for a while. Elliot plops down on her brown leather couch, acting as if he didn't just show up unannounced at 2:30AM.

"Liv, I need to tell you something, and I need you to really listen." Her stomach clenches, and she thinks that this may be it, this might be the time he tells her _he_ is leaving before she gets the chance to. If he tells her he is leaving SVU to go be a happy family again, she's not sure the ache in her heart will ever subside.

"'Livia, breathe," he commands softly. She didn't realize she'd stopped. "It's nothing bad, not really. Just, hey, it's gonna be okay, Liv." Elliot freezes temporarily as the sight of her watery eyes.

"Okay, well you know I told you I was going home to Kathy?" She nods, imperceptibly, the ache in her heart quadrupling until she's sure she is about to have a heart attack.

"Well, it was a mistake." Heart attack averted. "Liv, I'm not in love with her anymore. I thought things would be better, but I realized that I don't belong there anymore."

"Oh."

His eyebrow raises. "Just, 'oh'? C'mon, Olivia, I'm looking for some support on this."

"Elliot, you know I told you I thought the divorce was the right step. I'll back you up, no matter what."

"Thanks, partner. I knew I could count on you." _Crap. Yeah, about that sense of security, I'm about to take that away from you. Again._

She thinks about the conversation she had with him on that stakeout. The one where they finally admitted all the wrong step they'd taken the past couple of years. When he had told her just how much he'd missed her while she was gone, that he didn't know how to do the job without her. She had finally admitted that she should have never gone to Oregon. And that she'd missed him, too.

Now, oh but now, she was going to have to tell him she was leaving him again. It was her job, her damn _duty_ to make him understand why the hell she has to go do this. She'd fight all night if that's what it took. Hell, she'd catch a later flight if she couldn't do it in time to board her plane. But she knew that she had to go. This was something she needed to settles, in her heart and in her soul, so that she could finally just _be Olivia Benson._

_Here we go._


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks for **Kinsey** for the quick beta! You're the best!_

_And thanks to everybody who reviewed! This story got popular fast:) Here's the lastest installment!_

_I'm totally flooding the forum with fanfic lately, but I've just finished school for the semester, and writing really helps to relieve both stress and boredom. So...here's some more!_

* * *

**Chapter 2**

"Elliot, I have to tell you something, and I know you're not gonna like it," Olivia states bluntly as she scoots just a tiny bit closer to him.

"What is it, 'Livia?" He questions. He, however, does not seem to sense the impending doom, instead showing her unfailing faith. When she doesn't answer, he reaches over and grabs her fingertips. At this gesture, she has to fight back a sob. It's so like him to provide comfort while still giving her enough space.

"I, uh..." She fumbles in her jacket pockets. "Damnit! I need--" But before she can finish her sentence, he's holding out a tube of her favorite chapstick with the hand not holding hers.

"Chapstick?" She is floored. Speechless. _Why the hell am I leaving again?_

She clears her throat as she takes the tube of vanilla scented lip balm. "Thanks, El."

He merely nods in response. "You were saying?"

"Oh, right, that. I...I'm leaving again." _Shit. There has GOT to be a better way to say this._ "I mean, I'm going to go away for..." Olivia's sentence drifts off when she looks into his eyes.

Oh. My. God. He's crying. She grips his hand tightly, lacing her fingers through his as if that could give them the strength to make it through this conversation.

"I just--after this case, everything with my brother, I need to go figure myself out."

"Why do you always have to be away from me to figure things out?" His voice is pained and she feels his words like a punch in the gut. She doesn't know how to respond, except to get angry.

"It's not all about you, Elliot." Hurt flashes through his eyes, replaced by that unmistakable fire that always accompanies his rage.

"Were you even going to tell me?" At her look of shame, he barrels on. "That's just fucking great, Olivia. Do you know why I came here?" He stands up, towering over her, but she refuses to let his hand go.

"I thought--"

"That's just it, Olivia, you don't think! You just go your own way, everyone else be damned. I came over tonight to ask you on a date!" With that, he wrenches his hand free, stalking across her small apartment towards her front door.

_Wait. A what?!_

"Elliot, hang on. Just wait one damn second!"

He crosses the floor in 3 long strides, his index finger pointing accusingly at her. _Good, at least he's not leaving yet. I can work with this._

"That's all I do! Wait for other people to make decisions about my life. Just once, I'd like to be able to do something on my time table. I've waited for eight years and I don't wanna wait anymore!"

"El, you gotta understand, I'm just really in a confusing place right now. I've got all this crap going on, with Simon and IAB. All I know is that you're going back to your wife and your family and your fucking house in Queens. Then you come over, tell me that you've changed your mind and you wanna ask me on a date?! How do I know you won't change your mind about me?" _Damnit, that didn't come out how I'd planned._

He softens. "Liv, I could never change my mind about you. You; you're what I need, what I want." And with that admission, he breathes a sigh of relief while she gasps.

"Oh, El." She begins worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. He reaches out and strokes her cheek gently, then cups her chin. "I want this, too. But you have to understand I can't have a relationship from where I'm at right now. I need to fix myself before I can do this with you."

"'Livia, if you think you need to change for me, you're wrong. I love you just the way you are, and everything else that comes with you."

"You--you love me?" She stammers. Olivia gulps, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. He hugs her tightly to him and kisses her earlobe softly.

"Oh, Liv. Do you really not know by now?" She raises her head and takes a steadying breath. "I love you, Olivia Benson." He sees disbelief remaining in her eyes. "Okay, I'll prove it. If you really need to go away, for a while, then go. I don't like it, but I'll back you up."

With that, she grabs him at the back of his head, pressing her lips to his. He moans into the kiss, opening his mouth just enough to give her access. Her tongue slips inside his mouth, the tip of hers just meeting his. That's all the permission he needs and suddenly he is in control, in charge, in complete command of the situation. She slips her hands inside his shirt and rests them in his shoulder blades as he tangles his fingers in her hair.

He tickles the roof of her mouth with his tongue before he rips his mouth from hers to remove her tank top. Instantly his fingers thread back into her wavy locks as he shoves her gently onto the couch. She whips his shirt off over his head in a quick movement before running her hands up and over his broad chest, then settles her arms around his neck.

He slides his hands inside the waistband of her sweats and slips then down her legs, taking her panties along for the ride. He pulls back to take her in; her kiss-swollen lips, her perky breasts, and her wonderful body. His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, anticipating what's to come.

She squirms under his gaze and he grips her knees, keeping her open to him.

"Liv, relax," he whispers. "Let me do this." He sees she is still nervous, so he raises her hand to his lips and kisses each finger, watching her face for a reaction. He nuzzles her stomach with his strong nose, breathing in her sweet scent.

Olivia's strength goes right out of her at the tender, erotic gesture and she melts into the cushions. It almost hurts, he's so perfect. Her mouth falls open slightly and her breath hitches.

"Breathe, Olivia," he instructs, running two fingers between her folds. He teases her opening with his index and middle fingers, his thumb running lazy circles around her clitoris. She shudders out a breath that she can't seem to keep in. She fumbles for the zipper on his jeans, stroking his denim-encased erection before he stills her hand.

"This is me adoring you. Desiring you. Loving you, Olivia." She whimpers, and it only serves to increase his passion.

Olivia struggles to mentally grasp what was happening. All she knows is that her partner is kneeling in between her thighs and she's never wanted anything more. He pushes her thighs open a bit more to allow access for his questing fingers and she groans when two of them slip into her with ease.

"Oh. My."

Elliot moves his fingers in come hither motion inside her and uses his thumb to press down on her clitoris with alternating heavy and light pressure. He sucks at her hipbone, marking his territory. Olivia's body arches at every movement, practically leaping off the couch as he slips a third finger inside of her.

"Amazing," he mumbles.

Elliot swirls his tongue into her belly button and rubs her clit at the same time. She shrieks, and he can't help the smile that forms on his face at her reaction. He trails hot, wet kisses from the juncture of her thighs to her knees, and then back up again on her other side.

He slowly pulls his fingers back out of her body, and then pushes them in. Out, then in. Slow. Fast. Forward. More and more he drives into her as he continues to suckle her abdomen. He stops to throw her legs over his shoulders, and she is completely at his mercy. As her movements become frenzied, Elliot releases his hold on her completely, then opens her legs and buries his face between her thighs.

The moment Elliot's tongue comes in contact with her sopping wet flesh, she knows she's done for, and soon. Her legs close around his shoulders and neck, trying desperately to keep him there forever. He wraps his arms around her hips and lower back as he settles her back onto the sofa. Olivia's thrashing around never bothers him, never alters the plan one bit. If anything, it seems only to add his determination to push her over the edge.

"Come for me, Liv," he mutters against her clitoris. "Come against my mouth. Let me taste you."

With his coaxing, both verbal and physical, it isn't long before Olivia is screaming out his name as her climax overtakes her. "El-li-ot!" Elliot comes up for air only after her body relaxes. He places her feet back on the ground, moving to sit next to her. He kisses her cheek, her forehead, the corner of her mouth.

"I've gotta go, now." She looks at him, scared, confused, hurt. "Hey, it's nothing bad. Tonight was for you, baby. I just wanna do this right. I don't want it to be desperate, I don't want it to be on the eve of you leaving. I want you to have the candles, the wine, the date. When you get back, okay?"

"But, El, what if I want this now? Can't I have this to remember while I'm gone?"

"I can't make love to you knowing I can't have you again in a few hours. I need to know you're here with me, forever." With this, he stands up, grabs his shirt and pulls it back on.

She is dumbfounded as he picks up his keys, heading towards the door. "I'll see you when you get back, okay? When you come back to me."

"Okay," she answers, still coming down from her high.

"Lock your door, baby. I love you." He exits her apartment.

She calls after him. "I love you, too, Elliot."


	3. Chapter 3

_Well, I'm back! I've finally battled through the worst case of writer's block I've ever had! And the booty call was just not giving me inspiration._

_Thanks to my SFN beta duo! You gals are great!_

_So, if there are still any readers, ENJOY!_

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Olivia sits on her couch, legs slightly straddled, trying to make sense of the evening. She had been prepared for a fight, but instead she had been on the receiving end of the best sexual experience she's ever had. Her orgasm was earth-shattering, and all she could process was that she wanted more of him. All of him.

But he left.

She understands why he did, but that doesn't mean she likes it. She wants him back in her apartment, in her arms. She manages to dress herself again, knowing she should shower, but unwilling to wash him off her. Her legs wobble as she pulls on her pants, so she flops back onto the couch. Thoughts swarm her brain, all culminating into one clear question. _Can I really leave now?_

Before she has a chance to process her answer, her cell phone rings. She leans over to the coffee table, disinclined to move from the sofa. She leans back into the cushions as she flips her phone open. _Who is calling now?_

"Benson."

"Lock your door, Liv."

"I--um--how did you know?"

"Lock it, Olivia." His voice sounds strained, and she wonders if he's really so protective that her lack of a deadbolt actually causes him stress.

"Okay, okay." She makes the short trek across her living room and does as requested.

"Done. You satisfied?"

"Hardly," he snorts.

_Okay, maybe **that's** why his voice is so strangled_. "Oh, El. I didn't want you to go."

"I don't want you to go either, Liv, but that's where we are." She grabs a pillow, gripping it with lethal force.

"Elliot, don't you dare throw that in my face. You said you understood." She hears the frustration in his sigh, and imagines he's scrubbing his hand over his stubble.

"Liv, I--don't--I just wanna be with you. I wanna show you how wonderful you already are."

"El, I don't know what to say."

"Say you'll stay. Say you'll stay and try to work this out with me."

"El..."

"Please, Liv. I need you here with me. I need you so much it hurts." He begs. "I want to be with you all the time. I want to be the one you come home to, the one who makes love to you after a hard day. Hell, after and easy day. I just want you, Olivia."

She gulps. As scared as she may be of a relationship, she is even more terrified of not taking this leap of faith. She wonders briefly if she's giving in when she shouldn't be, but she knows in her heart that's not the case. It's Elliot, but that's why it matters so much.

"Liv?"

She realizes she's practically shredded the pillow she was holding, so she lets it fall to the floor.

"Elliot, I want you, too. Get back here."

"Liv, I told you--"

"I'm staying, Stabler. Now, come back to me." She hears a rustle at the door, followed by two distinct "damnit"s. One through the phone, and another muffled just outside her door.

"Liv, open up!" She laughs.

"You're still here? I thought you left!"

"I could never leave you. Now, open this door!" Elliot growls. She moves across her hardwoods as fast as she can. She simultaneously opens the door and shuts her phone.

"Why'd ya lock the door, Liv?" He smirked.

"Shut up and kiss me, you jerk."

"With pleasure."

And with that, they slam together like magnets, their mouths mating as she shoves him against her door.

"Mmmm, why'd you bother getting dressed again?" Eliot whines.

"I didn't think--oh, that feels good," she murmurs as he nibbles her neck.

"Let's get this shirt off you." In one quick movement, he takes off her top, and she reciprocates. "Bed, now," he commands.

"Okay," she manages as he nibbles her earlobe.

They stumble together through the hallway, shedding his shoes as they go. When the back of her legs hit the bed, he picks her up and throws her onto the bed.

"C'mere," she whispers as she reaches her arms out for him.

Elliot falls into Olivia's embrace and they crash onto the bed, rumpling the covers wonderfully. He molds his mouth to hers as her leg curves around his hip and her foot finds the curve of his buttocks to pull him closer. She moans deep in her throat and wriggles to force him to settle just where she wants him.

Elliot, for his part, is dying to get his clothes off, the rest of hers, and just fuck her brains out. But he also knows he should take his time to show her exactly how much he loves her, cherishes her, needs her. He tamps down the lust and concentrates instead on loving her.

He pulls his mouth from her lips and slowly takes his tongue on a path around the curve of her jaw to her earlobe, stopping to suck it into his mouth. He also takes time out to fondle her breasts. The moans she's making are nearly bringing him to climax before he even sheds his boxer briefs.

Olivia writhes around on her bedspread, wanting to acquaint herself with this new side to Elliot. She wants to break all her rules and all of his and have no more boundaries between them as they show their love for each other and commit themselves to whatever lies ahead.

Unfortunately, she can't get a word out because of his ministrations. The best she can manage is some incoherent mumbling and light panting, which gets louder and harder as he continues with his actions.

"Elliot," she finally blurts. "Elliot, I want..."

"Mmhmm, yeah," is his reply. He places a feather-light kiss on each nipple before sucking gently just off to the side. He leaves his mark on her breast, then finally gives her what she wants as he swirls his tongue around first one nipple, then the other.

She never thought she would enjoy relinquishing the power in bed.

A few moments later, Olivia comes to her second climax for the night, and it shakes the bed slightly. A shit-eating grin appears on Elliot's face.

"Wow, all that from some heavy petting," he chuckles.

She pretends to be annoyed, but the act lacks conviction. Swallowing hard she bumps her hips into his and rasps, "My turn."

She flips herself on top of him and looks him up and down. She threads her fingers through his sparse chest hair, placing a reverent kiss above his heart. Elliot watches her through lowered eyelids and waits to see what she'll do next.

She won't disappoint.

She unfastens the metal button of his jeans and slowly undoes the zipper, creeping it down millimeter by millimeter, enjoying the torture. She chances a quick glance at his eyes, to see they've darkened to a shade of midnight blue. She returns her gaze to the zippered journey her hands were taking, smiling at all that she's revealing beneath. The further down it goes, the greedier Olivia's gaze becomes.

She slides her hands under the edges of the denim and works at removing his jeans with Elliot accommodating her silent request by shifting his hips so the offending piece of material would be removed. She roughly shoves his underwear off as well, and Olivia stares hungrily at his erection. She licks her lips.

"Wow," she breathes before daring to look at Elliot. Seeing an answering gaze in his eyes, she leans down and kisses the tip, feeling the bead of moisture seep onto her lips as he purrs. Blowing lightly on the droplets remaining on his skin, she strokes the underside of his shaft. "You're perfect."

Suddenly, the mood shifts. They've had enough of taking things slow. She wants to feel him deep inside her body with her legs wrapping around him, holding him firmly inside. He growls as he shoves her back onto the bed. He attacks her pants with a fervor that's never been directed at her before. Somehow, though, Elliot is able to divest her of her clothing without any damage being done.

"Make love to me, El. Make me forget these last few weeks." She sighs, finally feeling his weight upon her body as he settled in between her thighs.

"My pleasure," he whispers, kissing her soundly on the mouth. He pulls back to stare into her eyes, seemingly waiting for final permission before sliding into her body. Her eyes are shut, however, so he brushes his fingertips across her lips. "Open 'em, Liv." She opens her eyes and sees him smiling down at her. She wraps her hand around the back of his neck and pulls him down to her lips and smiles seductively at him.

Elliot pushes slowly inside of her, enjoying every millimeter of penetration as is comes. She exhales, and he slips a little further inside, finally in as deep as possible. He rests there for a moment, feeling content and happy and wanting her to feel the same. Reaching for his hips with her arms, he knew it was time to move. He pulls out a bit, and then thrusts forward again, gaining momentum with each action. Before long Olivia's mini-shrieks ring in his ears. He presses forward again, finding her G-spot, wanting to bring about her release before seeking his own. He doesn't have too long to wait on either account.

Afterward, they lie, trying to catch their breath. Elliot whispers, "I love you. I'm glad you're staying."

"I love you, too. I don't ever want to leave again."

"Good," he said, pulling her body next to his and closing his eyes. "Crap." His eyes fly open. "I gotta lock the door."

"I did it while we were making out, El."

He chuckles. "Well, aren't you resourceful." Elliot kisses the top of her head of mussed hair.

They snuggle together without a centimeter of personal space, drifting off to sleep; content, satisfied and happy.

* * *

_This is the end, at least for a while. It's a good place to leave it, and someday I may come back to it. But I need to work on and finish my other fics, and I have a fun idea for a new story, too! So, goodbye (for now?) to FWFB._


End file.
